Enthusiastic Consent: What It Is and Why It Matters
Remember having that one awkward conversation about ‘the birds and the bees’ with your parents, as a teenager? Thankfully we don’t need to do that anymore… we do need to do a whole lot more! As adults, it’s our responsibility to ensure that our teenagers are equipped with the tools and knowledge they need to navigate healthy and respectful relationships. This is more than one awkward conversation; it’s many conversations over a number of years. One of the most important concepts to discuss with your teenager is enthusiastic consent.
Enthusiastic consent is the idea that all sexual activity should be based on mutual agreement, rather than coercion or pressure. It means that all parties are actively and enthusiastically participating in the sexual experience, and that they have communicated their desires and boundaries clearly to each other.
Why is enthusiastic consent so important? First and foremost, it’s the only way to ensure that sexual activity is completely consensual and safe. When everybody involved is enthusiastic and fully consenting, it creates a safe and pleasurable sexual experience that is free from coercion, pressure, or harm.
Additionally, enthusiastic consent helps to build a culture of respect and communication in relationships. When partners are communicating clearly and listening to each other’s needs and desires, it creates a foundation of trust and respect that can carry over into all aspects of the relationship.
So how can you discuss enthusiastic consent with your teenager? Start by having an open and honest conversation about healthy relationships and communication. Talk to your teenager about the importance of listening to their partner’s needs and desires, and communicating their own boundaries and desires clearly.
You can also provide your teenager with resources on enthusiastic consent, such as books, graphic novels, and websites. Some great book recommendations for teenagers include "Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between" by Shafia Zaloom and "Respect: A Girl's Guide to Getting Respect and Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed" by Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym. Graphic novel recommendations include "Consent (for Kids!): Boundaries, Respect, and Being in Charge of You" by Rachel Brian and "Sunstone" by Stjepan Šejić. Websites like Scarleteen and Planned Parenthood offer comprehensive information and resources on enthusiastic consent and other topics related to sex education.
Ultimately, the most important thing you can do as a parent is to create a safe and open environment where your teenager feels comfortable discussing their relationships and sexual experiences with you. By providing your teenager with the tools and knowledge they need to navigate healthy and respectful relationships, you can help them build a strong foundation for a lifetime of positive sexual experiences.
